Within the main stream consciousness now lies the concept that all you have to do to create a new and improved reality is visualize how you would like your life to be. Add in some affirmations and a big dose of gratitude for already having that and change is on its way! Not so fast…not for most people at least.
It’s easy to become dis-heartened about the process. After all, it takes a tremendous amount of mental energy to consistently focus upon what apparently doesn’t exist in your life. When doubt leads to despair it’s only natural to begin to wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” Especially in a society where it seems everyone else is capable of “just doing it” and “just saying no,” as if it were that easy.
Thanks to a tremendous amount of research we are beginning to understand why creating and sustaining change can be so difficult for the vast majority. There are biological as well as psychological factors to deal with when desiring to up level your quality of life.
Neuroscience and psychology have proven that the brain finds all change stressful—all change—that means even changes that are obviously in your best interest. This kind of knowledge is so empowering because it takes you away from the “what’s wrong with me?” mentality and and begins a shift in perspective that instead asks, “what’s right with me?”
Now that we know the challenges, now that we know why dieting and budgeting, for example, are so difficult to sustain, what next? Is there a way to , work with your physiology to intentionally reprogram your mind and systematically create a new and more desirable way of being in the world that isn’t so stressful? Is there a way to work smarter not harder when so many have failed in their attempts at change?
Whatever your goals, author of “Change or Die,” Alan Deutschman, has discovered the three components that together make change not only possible, but sustainable. He refers to these three critical keys to successful change as the three R’s: Relate, Reframe and Repeat.
The case studies are fascinating, and the overall premise of the book provides hope for anyone who has ever felt stuck in an old way of being. So often people attempt to change with only one or two of the R’s in place and sometimes none, so it’s no wonder nine out of ten people aren’t able to make the necessary changes even when it’s a matter of life or death as in the case of heart patients.
While it’s true suffering can lead to growth, I prefer to believe that there’s always more than one way to get there. The latest research in neuroscience, quantum physics and now some real life examples in “Change or Die,” provide even more proof that it isn’t just a matter of hard work and discipline but various forms of support that make change sustainable.
Ultimately, it’s support that cultivates hope and hope is the cornerstone for change. Hope leads to possibilities. Hope leads to seeing opportunities you may miss if you are enmeshed in the despair that ensues from past failures. Hope is the attitude that makes all things possible and is therefore invaluable. It may come in the form of reframing an old idea, repetitive inspiration or a new connection to a community or a mentor. If there is something you truly want more than anything, then seeking these new forms of connection are the first step on your new path.